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Household gods

09 December 2014  |  News

GodIf the difference between an investment banker and God is that God doesn’t think he is an investment banker, then the difference between a derivatives trader and an evil gargoyle is, well, actually there is no difference a derivatives trader and an evil gargoyle. Here are some evil words.

AAA. If AAA is now B minus then what is B minus? A Chinese hieroglyphic, a performance enhancing drug or a pile of used serviettes? Hard to say.

  1. An opportunity to play Russian roulette with the world financial system.
  2. The currency that rules the world. The world is becoming increasingly annoyed.

Liberal media. The sworn enemy of the non-Liberal media, who blame them for all world ills whenever their hot air overcomes them, which is about every 30 seconds. Thus allowing non-Liberal commentators to feel sorry for themselves, depict themselves as heroes taking on insuperable odds and to never notice how often they are wrong.

Mediocrity. The art of setting extremely low standards, then never failing to meet them. Thus providing an opportunity for limitless self regard.

Speaking Slides. An opportunity for spectacularly boring speakers to read to the audience what the audience can already read, thus ensuring that torture is not a dying art.

US dollar. Amidst all the global panic, one of the silliest arguments doing the rounds is that the American government might become insolvent. About as convincing as a three dollar note, given that three trillion American dollars spin around the world every day (see: greenback).


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