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Mysterious moos

David James |  28 August 2014  |  News

Why is bat shit boring and yet someone can be as dumb as dog shit? Why not the other way round? Because it's hard to say 'as boring as dog shit' and 'as dumb as bat shit', I suppose. This is an important point to remember when trying to describe politics in Canberra. Because it's raining bats and dogs there.

Here are some other important points, a definition or two.

Chief executives. A race of superior beings whose only shortcoming is insufficient generosity towards themselves.

Minority shareholders. Who?

Sincere lying. The new truth.

Statistical analysis. The new wisdom.

Stock market strategy. Something that is very much a personal thing, as we see:

“Dad, what kind of stock market strategy do you employ?”

“Well, son, I could be a bull or a bear, but mostly I prefer to be a cow.”

“Why’s that, Dad?”

“Because the market moos in mysterious ways, my child. Now stop bothering me, I have money to lose.”

Vision. A corporate disease, often fatal. Especially in Qantas. The symtpoms are an inability to hear anything other than the sound of one's own voice.

Words. Weapons of mass dissimulation.





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